Sick of paying

I am so fucking frustrated I cannot see straight. I have a friend that has been my best friend for years but every time I make even the smallest mistake or cannot keep in touch with him, he throws me under the bus and brings up all my past mistakes with him and makes me feel like I will be paying for those stupid mistakes for the rest of my life. I CANNOT STAND it when people want to bring up my past mistakes just so they can make a point. I never rub people’s past mistakes in their faces. I never once bring them up again. They are forgiven and forgotten. Yes, I still beat myself up constantly over what I have done in the past but I would never make someone feel like shit over something they might have done years ago. We were different people then and we are different people now. Why can’t people just let things die? I can’t keep paying for those mistakes and feeling like shit every time, making me feel like I have to constantly make it up to this person. I am so angry with this person and I want to slam everything back down his throat and tell him what a dick he is half the time to people and how incredibly negative and synical he is. Hell he is almost 40 and still lives at home with his mom because he is afraid she will sue him for rent money if he leaves even a small peace of paper behind and that she can’t make it by herself. He has a daughter that he calls himself the “secondary” parent for and thinks he has no real responsibilities for except to spend two days a week with. He has never been married and wants to sleep with anything with tits and a vagina that walks by. I just can’t do it anymore. He makes me crazy and makes me feel constantly guilty about everything in my life. I’m done. Once and for all, I have completely had enough.

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